1. The laundromat is expensive. Too expensive. 

2.The “new 75 lb. dryer” can only handle 30 lbs of clothes. After three cycles, your clothes will be, at best, “dry.”

3. There are a countless number of ways for your clothes to be folded. I only know one way. 

  Woman: “Yeah, I used to always just iron my clothes, too.”

Me: “huh?”

Woman: “…? You don’t have to iron if you fold them…”

Me: “oh yeah, that’s why I’m folding mine.”

With the woman’s raised eyebrow, I knew I was an idiot. 

4. Everyone is very enthusiastic in showing you how to operate the machines. Some even have their own insider tips:

“Yeah, you gotta press that shit twice…yeah, yeah, there you go.” -Laundromat patron referring to the start button. 

5. Laundromats are a perfect example of criminal activity:

Over-charging people who are in no position to get a hold of their own machines— be it for financial or logistical reasons—to just passably wash (…ahem “wash”) and dry (…ahem “dry”) their clothes.